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Bulletproof Your Relationship: 9 Conversation Topics Guaranteed To Make Your Love Last

Marie Claire

Whether you've been together for one week, one month or one year, there are a few conversation topics that you have to cover if you want to make your relationship go the distance...


It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been with your partner – life is always on hand to screw things up and leave you questioningeverything. But before you freak out and give up on love altogether, fear not – we chatted to Durex Sex and Relationship expert Susan Quilliam about how to bulletproof your relationship. And apparently it just comes down to nine simple conversation topics…

WHAT DOES LOVE ACTUALLY MEAN?
‘It was Gary Chapman’s book, The Five Love Languages, that alerted us to the fact that the word ‘love’ is capable of so many meanings. Your partner’s definition of love could be to buy you presents, when you’d rather spend time together. You might think that you’re demonstrating how much you love him by telling him how proud of him you are – while he only feels loved when you have sex. But if that’s the case, then you’re both likely to feel uncared for. But all is not lost. If you can talk through your differences, then make a conscious effort to try to deliver what the other needs, you can bridge the gap.’

DOES HE WATCH PORN?
‘Of course in the first flush of love, the sex is likely to be wonderful. But once the honeymoon period is over, you’ll want to know that he’s going to be capable of keeping desire alive even when things are less exciting. And if he is a huge fan of porn, itmaysignal that he’s less able to relate to a ‘real’ (as in, three dimensional) woman, and more willing to turn to the computer screen if he feels unfulfilled or if for some reason sex with you is off the menu. If you feel like he has the issue of porn in perspective – preferably a perspective you share – that bodes much better for the future.’

HOW CLOSE IS HE TO HIS MUM?
‘Yes, you guessed it: a man’s relationship with his mother reflects relationship with his partner. If he respects and cares for her, he’s likely to care and respect for you. If he’s at her beck and call, you may end up coming second to what she wants. And if he’s individuated from her – is affectionate but not emotionally dependent – then you’re more likely to be able to avoid situations where he feels pulled between you and her.’

DO EITHER OF YOU GET EMOTIONAL?
‘Apparently one of the most crucial factors in relationship success is whether you can each respond to each other’s emotional needs. This doesn’t mean that huge temper tantrums should be par for the course – unless, of course, you both enjoy the drama. But the ability to notice when the other needs support – and then be prepared to put in time and energy to do so – is vitally important.






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Date: 16.12.2018, 00:05 / Views: 55354